Beverly's leash disappeared when I was in Los Angeles. I'm not saying Mark and David stole it, but the circumstances surrounding its disappearance are rather suspicious. I mean, one day I had it, and the next I didn't. The only logical explanation is that I was in the company of a thief.
I've already ruled out Carmella the cleaning lady. I had a nice conversation with her while she was cleaning the kitchen one day and she told me that her apartment building doesn't allow dogs so she doesn't have one. I've also ruled out Heidi the dog walker because she doesn't come upstairs when she picks up Brisco and Gertie, and that's where the leash was. The only people in close proximity of it were Mark and David, so you can draw your own conclusions.
They claim to have looked for it in my bedroom at their house, but I don't think they did a thorough enough job. I mean, did they lift up the carpet? Look under the bed? In the closet? They also keep telling me to look inside my suitcase, like I haven't already done that and emptied the thing out. I think they're trying to send me on a wild goose chase to throw me off their trail. I mean, don't you see why I'm suspicious? How does a leash just disappear?
Two gay men steal it, that's how.
Anywho, Bev and I just dropped forty big ones on a new one today at Trixie and Peanut, because that's how much the one we decided upon cost. It's a beautiful striped Ella Dish number that resembles her last one, but the colors are different and don't exactly go with her red harness, which kind of bums me out.
I want her old leash back. It has sentimental value. I made this sign. There's a reward attached to the person who finds it.
Here's a close-up: