Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

  • Getting ready to go to party/premiere for Knowing w/Nic Cage. Last premiere I went to my date peed next to Al Sharpton. Hoping for a repeat. #
  • Score! My date just went to the bathroom next to Jerry Bruckheimer. Not to start rumors, but you know what they say... big explosions, small penis.#
Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter.

UPDATE: To clarify first tweet, he used the urinal next to him, he didn't actually wet himself. He just sort of looked over mid-stream and was like, "Hey..."