Instant message with my friend Mark earlier today:
Mark: Hun, you have to take the rainbow off your blog. It looks like the gay rainbow.
Me: No it doesn't. I took away the purple stripe and darkened the red.
Mark: Yes it does. You have to change it.
Me: No. Who gave you guys permission to hijack the rainbow anyway? I don't remember there being a vote.
Mark: Hun, leave the rainbow alone. It's all we have.
Me: Oh, please, this isn't the 1900s—it's post Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Mark: No. We still can't marry and teach kids in some schools. We're separate but not equal. I liked the grass. Bring back the grass. It was fresh and fun.
Me: No. I like the rainbow. I'll change the colors.
Mark: You. Can't. Have. The. Rainbow.
Me: Listen, you don't own the whole rainbow—you own the one with the primary colors. I'm keeping it and I'll make it pastel or something.
Mark: Bring. Back. The. Grass.
Mark: Then change the text underneath it to say, "My name is Karyn Bosnak... I live in Brooklyn and I'm not a lesbian."