50 Cent Vs. Kanye

So these two jokers have albums coming out on the same day and are challenging each other as to who's going to sell more copies. (You probably didn't need the recap, but my mom's been reading this blog—say hi to her!—and she will.) If I had to choose between them and say who I hope sells more, I'd go Fiddy all the way. Not because I necessarily like his music more than Kanye's, but he was a crack dealer and crack dealers are cool.

I'm kidding. Drugs aren't funny. Well, maybe mild ones are... but not crack. You know what else isn't funny? Meth. If there are any little kids reading this blog (God, I hope there aren't), don't ever do meth. It's what I call a "dumb drug", like it will literally cause brain damage and make you retarded. I'm not joking—you will become retarded if you start doing meth. And your teeth will probably fall out, too. And you might even scratch your face off. Listen kiddies, if you need speed, be smart and stick with cocaine like everyone else.

Oh my Gosh, I'm kidding again. My mother's gonna be horrified... I'm sorry, Mom! I'm just a little slap-happy this morning, that's all. Too much coffee, because caffeine is my drug of choice. See? You raised me well.

Back to 50 Cent... he didn't sell drugs on purpose, he was a victim of circumstance. I saw his movie. His mom was killed when he was 6 or 8 or something and he just fell into it, you know? It happens. The important thing is that he doesn't sell them any more, he just sings about it. Seriously though, I love him and his slur. (He got shot, Mom, like eight times by another drug dealer and it caused him to have a slur.) I also like Kanye, though, and especially love that new song of his, "Now that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger..." It's very inspirational. But I'm still sticking with 50.