by Kristen Hammack
During my sophomore year in college, my roommates and I thought it would be fun to check out the online dating websites. Through doing this, I ended up meeting a guy named Stan. Stan was really nice and, after chatting online for awhile, we decided to go out on a date. Over the course of a month or so, we ended up going out a few times, but eventually things ended between us.
The last date that Stan and I had took place at a comedy club. The show was pretty good, and when it was over, we decided to pick up a movie and go back to my dorm room. After popping in the tape, we both crammed our bodies into my X-long twin bed and things got a little frisky. Stan and I kissed and touched each other and eventually decided to have sex. We both got naked and started going through the motions. Stan was on top and everything seemed to be fine, but then suddenly, he stopped what he was doing and sat on the edge of the bed with his back facing me. Apparently Stan was nervous and not... ready... so he was trying to "assist himself" so we could continue. After realizing it was taking an awfully long time, I sat up to see if I could "help." Eager to get back to things, I quickly reached over with my right hand, but then stopped short of touching his penis when I realized that it was the exact same size as my thumb. Without thinking, I instantly retracted my hand, laid back down on the bed and said, "You know what? Maybe we should do this another time. I need to get to bed." I'm pretty sure the shock of what I had just seen was plastered all over my face, and I'm pretty sure Stan knew that we'd never see each other again. He put his clothes on and left.
The next morning, as I was telling my roommates about the fiasco, I described him as being "thumb d*ck," and from that point on, that's been his name. If I happen to pass a place we went to, I'd say, "Oh, 'thumb d*ck' and I went to that restaurant." Or when I'm at the video store I say, "Oh, 'thumb d*ck' and I saw that movie." As I said earlier, that night was the last date thumb d*ck and I ever had, and I never saw him or his thumb d*ck again.
From Karyn... Yay Kristen! Your book is on it's way.
The reason I picked Kristen's story this week is that I'm sure we've all had a small penis experience, but more than that, I want to know some of the nicknames that all of you have given the guys you've dated.
As for me, there's "Dumb Boy"... he was younger than me and very naive.
There's also "The Fat Guy"... I actually really like him and didn't care that he was fat.
As for "Dan Dan the Earring Man"... I left my earrings in his dorm room and never saw them (or him) again. (DDTEM was one of my shorter *cough* one night *cough* relationships.)