I was reading an article in the NY Post this morning about the eight worst handshakes and it got me thinking about what the eight worst kisses/kissers might be. Here's a start...
1. The Lip Sucker/Nibbler - Sucking or nibbling on my lips once or twice is fine, but giving them a hickey or drawing blood is not. As for sucking on my tongue... there's really never an appropriate time to do this.
2. The Toothbrush - When someone runs their tongue along my teeth like they're giving them a good polish. I go to the dentist for this; I don't need someone to do it for me.
3. The Slobberer - I don't mind if someone kisses me on the nose or chin, but I'd prefer if they didn't leave a trail of slobber behind when doing so. I mean, if I feel like I have to put down a tarp beneath us to protect the floors, then we're in trouble.
4. The Ear Licker - I thought this might be a subcategory of "The Slobberer," but my friend Sam said it needed a category of it's own. To all the "Ear Lickers" out there... kids give wet willies to torture each other. Enough said.
5. The Teeth Grinder/Hard Kisser - Being on the receiving end of a hard kiss in the heat of the moment is one thing, but when someone chips my teeth with theirs, or exfoliates my face with their stubble, it's quite another.
6. The "Hearty" Kisser - Has kissing someone ever made you feel like you just ate... because they just ate? Gives new meaning to that "not-so-fresh feeling," doesn't it? A warm, gooey kiss accompanied by remnants of someone's latest meal is not sexy. Brush your teeth after you eat. Did your mother not teach you anything?
Care to finish the list? The top two comments will make #7 & #8.