HSN or Bust


Right now they're having an hour of Boyd's Bears. They're like Beanie Babies, but even more irritating. The hosts and call-in guests are simply FABULOUS. Hearing grown women recite the following lines has truly been the highlight of my day.

"You can never have too many Boyd's Bears."

This is Ruby B. Snazzle. "This one spoke to me."

This is Alaina Dubeary. "She's ready to hit the town with her boa!"

"I think Mondo Minkles has a crush on Miss Pinkerton."

Also... "It's nice that Miss Pinkerton is this far-forward with regards to fashion." (They were referring to the bling on her shirt.)

"This bear was made for lovin'."

This is Ima Princess Bear. "She's very Hollywood."

Also... "She's wearing slippers that come off, because bear feet get very hot."

I mean, this is some funny sh*t and I haven't even been drinking.

BTW, if you love home shopping channels as much as I do, make sure you read Augusten Burroughs' first book called Sellevision: A Novel. It's HILARIOUS.