From My Dog, Bev

Ruff! Ruff!Yo bitches. It's come to my attention that some of you have been asking about me. My name is Beverly and I'm three years old.

Here's a day in my life:

9:00 am - Wake up and go potty.
9:05 am - Look at breakfast.
9:06 am - Quickly scan apartment floor to see if any food was dropped since the last time I was awake.
9:10 am - Go back to bed.
10:00 am - Realizing Mommy isn't going to replace the same sh*tty breakfast I get every day with eggs or something exciting, get up and eat.
10:14 am- Burp.
10:15 am - Sleep off kibble-induced food coma.

Here comes the sun... do do do do... Here comes the sun... And I say... it's all right.Afternoon:
12:00 pm - Wake up and beg Mommy while she eats lunch.
12:03 pm - Scarf down a piece of tofu.
12:30 pm - Pissed all Mommy gave me was one piece of tofu, harass cat to work out anger.
1:00 pm - Sunbathe --------------->
1:30 pm - Catch some shut eye before afternoon walk.
2:00 pm - Anxious to be on afternoon walk, drop a steamy load as soon as I get outside.
2:15 pm - Stop walking because I'm fat and out of shape.
2:16 pm - Get carried for rest of walk .
2:25 pm - Treat apartment like Indy 500 and run laps around it to celebrate being home.
2:27 pm - Thrash around on bed for a while.
2:28 pm - Sneeze.
2:29 pm - Exhausted from walking, running and thrashing, pass out.

BEV: 'You're nothing but a pussy! ELVIS THE BUSH CAT: 'Screw you bitch!'Evening:
5:20 pm - Arise from slumber.
5:30 pm - Look at dinner.
5:31 pm - Seeing it's the same sh*t I always get, glare at Mommy.
5:33 pm - Quickly scan apartment floor to see if any food was dropped since the last time I was awake.
6:00 pm - Beg Mommy while she eats dinner.
6:10 pm - Yes, yes, yes! Now we're talking... Lick Mommy's plate clean.
6:30 pm - Realizing there wasn't much food on Mommy's plate, eat my own dinner to satisfy grumbling stomach.
7:00 pm - Harass cat again just for being a moron:
7:30 pm - Do some paw work: Lick between toes.
7:45 pm - Nap on back to make belly available for rubs.

If you're incredibly bored, you can learn more about me here: Bev's Dogster Page.